Yesterday I was in Aunt Flo HELL! It just sucked to have our dreams flow right out of us yet another time:( I did not believe it was really true until I sat down at the computer to type up yesterday's post and I had a complete breakdown- it just made it such a reality. However, we still survived the day and Jill did her best to console me- she knows how much it breaks my heart everytime this happens.
Having a family with Jill is my ULTIMATE dream and I know I will do anything and everything I can to make that dream a reality, but I also hate that we continue to spend ALL of our extra money on something that is not happening for us. BUT I also realize that when we hold our little baby bug all that will not be an issue and it will be worth every penny we spent. However, how do we continue to make it through these difficult times and continue to put money into something that might not ever happen???? I'm sure many of you have asked yourselves these same questions, especially those of you that have tried as many times as we have or more.
So you all know I try to be a positive thinker and I need to put all this doubtful bullshit behind me and that is exactly what I am trying to do. I just need to vent all my frustrations so I can get to that point:) Jill and I decided that we would try again at home since it costs A LOT less than with a doctor. We will go back to North West and give it another try with them. I just cannot be off work as much as required with doctor assisted IUI's and we do have the process pretty much down pat. We will be getting some extra money in August so we will do our 9th try at home then. I am going to see if anyone has left over Clomid from another website that people donate or sell unused fertility meds to give us a little extra luck:)
So that is the news from today... just taking things a day at a time:)
P.S. Just so you all know--- I love all my BLOGLAND friends and your support and kind words mean the world to me:)
12 comments:
I'm sorry to hear your news. But keep your chin up - it's coming your way!
I know how unhelpful this will sound at this point and I hope you are able to see what I am trying to say.
We tried for a year and a half. 7 attempts, 1 miscarriage at 13 weeks. Every month, we felt more and more discouraged and felt like we were playing mind games every 2ww to distract ourselves or to try and enjoy our lives with each other child-less for the moment. It's so hard. It is a very emotional journey and it just SUCKS every time AF arrives or nothing appears on those HPTs.
I know you've probably heard 1000 stories of women who get pregnant by accident or on the first try, contrasted to those who try for upwards of 5 years.
All I can offer is hope. When we now look at our baby boy, we know that he is with us because the time was right. We couldn't imagine any other attempt working than the one that brought him to us. And I know that we would probably feel the same way regardless, but that's how I look at it.
Hang in there! We're thinking of you!
I have been lurking on your blog for awhile now. I wanted to pipe up and say that I am sorry for the bad news! I soooooo know too well how you feel!
I'm so sorry it didn't work this time! Hang in there! We ended up having to do IVF because of Shelly's age. And it worked but it cost A LOT of money! Just keep being positive and I'll keep sending positive energy your way!
i don't know what took me so friggin' long, but I've added you to my blogroll! Ya'll are so cute!
Keep trying I know it sucks waiting, but one day the line will appear......
Sorry..... We hope your dream becomes reality soon!!!!
I'm really sorry. You're right though..when you're holding that baby bug you'll forget all of this..and it will be worth it.
B
I know how you feel. I'm worried about continuing to finance TTC; the RE is super expensive. I'm also worried my boss' patience with me taking off is wearing thin. We may have to take a few RE cycles off too and maybe try at home. Keep your chins up and keep thinking positive... it's better than the alternative. I hope we both look back on all of this and know it was worth it. PS.. We tried Midwest Bank and are pretty happy with it. Numbers were very good and the selection is a little better. Shipping is cheaper too.
It will happen for you ! It will.
I can't wait to follow your journey right to the birth story :)
So sorry to hear the "hard news". I don't want to sound nosey, but I was wondering if you are using a donor from a bank, or live?
I personally know 3 people that tried and tried for more than a year and couldn't get pregnant, they decided to look for a live donor (yes they are out there) even if you have to pay them... EVERY CASE (out of 3), worked the 1st time...
Good luck to you and your family.. Stay positive and relax.. It will happen!
It took us eight tries. It wasn't fun by any stretch, but I agree with Holly...our boy was supposed to be our boy. As hard as it was to understand, we had to wait for the right time...wait for him.
It was challenging to figure out we were supposed to learn from our TTC experience, and there were a million times when I wanted to beg and plead for no more education. I mean, it's nice to grow as a person but I didn't really want to grow THAT MUCH...I wanted a baby. I still don't regret our journey.
I don't know if that helps. It may not. I just want to say that I know it's hard,not just to want a baby but to know where to go next, how to do it and to find a way to live with all of it at the same time.
Post a Comment