I had my check-up with my OB today and I had prepared myself for the answer to my burning question... Can I still have more children? Both Jill and I are so happy to have been blessed with our little man. He is so perfect (in our eyes) and has truly been our little miracle. However, we also feel that our family is complete with three of us. I am happy with my pregnancy and birth experience and don't have the longing to have another child like I did to have him. Of course thinking about the toll the pregnancy took on my body, mind, and spirit also makes contemplating another pregnancy unappealing to me at this point. Therefore, before I even asked this question I felt at peace with the fact that Braden might be my one and only child.
So after a little bit of conversation, I finally asked my doctor the big question. Her reply was that this pregnancy took a big toll on my heart and reminded me that I now have a child to think of and is it worth dying to have another? WOW-- that put a lump in my throat! No way would I want to leave Braden without me! I worked very hard to get him here and I do not want to leave him because of something I chose to do even though I knew the risk was there. She also told me that I would be at severe high risk for many complications like stroke, heart attack, and even death. Even though I was prepared that she might say that, it still hit me like a load of bricks! I got tears in my eyes with the realization that I will not bring anymore children into this world. She also asked my why I wanted to have another child and I told her mainly for Braden to have a sibling. She said due to my health that is definitely no reason for me to put my body through another pregnancy. She told me she has a sister that she hasn't spoken with in 13 years so there is never a guarantee that they will like each other. I have such a great relationship with my brothers that I want the same for Braden, but we do have several friends with kids his age so he will have other chidren to "grow up" with. When I told Jill the news I could tell it hurt a little, but I know she really is okay with just one. We can give him so much and pour our hearts into our little man. He truly is our miracle and we thank God for him everyday.
7 comments:
Braden will always have a big sister in Morgan! He will have plenty of buddies and family to love him...you could also think about adoption as an option if you ever get the longing for a second child...
Oh sweetie, I bet that was so hard to hear but I'm glad you're at peace with having just your little man. He is such a little cutie and will have your love to himself. Not a bad deal for him, I'd say.
wow, even though i don't plan on carrying next time, that would be so hard to hear!! is there any reason why jill couldn't carry baby #2? if you really want a sibling, that's an easy answer! i'm curious if that's something you had ever discussed.
my dp will be carrying #2 - we start with our testing etc.. in sept. i can't wait to see her pregnant!!!
Oh wow, that must have been a hard conversation to have with your doctor. But it sounds like you're both at peace with it, and your family of three is beautiful.
Thanks so much for all your kind words. It is still sinking in that I will not carry another child, and at times is hard to believe. BUT we are so blessed with our precious little Braden!!
To answer indigo's question, no Jill does not want to carry a child and I respect that decision. She has always wanted a child, but has no desire to be pregnant and birth a child herself. So a family of three we will be:)
I'm sorry tat you even had to have this hard conversation! Everything happens for a reason and that is totally true, adoption is always an option in the future!
Braden is so young, you have time.. I think your family of 3 is darling, and he will be one LOVED child!
So sweet!
Awh, I'm sorry hun, but your little family is just perfect :) xo
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