For those of you that know our story you can skip ahead. For those of you that don't care about the story you can skip ahead too! BUT for those of you that are interested.... just sit back, relax, and enjoy the LONG story of us:)
Jill and I knew of each other in Middle School, but we didn't get to be friends until my senior year and her junior year in High School. We had Yearbook class together and quickly became great friends. I knew there was something different about the way that I felt with her, but I had never had a lesbian experience so I didn't quite understand the feelings I had. I was giddy when I was around her, I couldn't wait to be with her, we talked constantly and even through the night several times only to get off the phone when it was time to get ready for school! I was totally in love but it just didn't quite sink in yet. Jill had been with one other girl and had a pretty good idea that she was infact a lesbian. She did have a boyfriend for most of high school, but they were really just best friends. Then one weekend--- everything changed! We were together for the first time and it was amazing--- the most exciting experience of my life thus far. Of course we were together non-stop after that. Our families questioned our relationship, but we did not tell them anything until after we both moved out and were on our own. We just weren't at the stage where we felt comfortable sharing that with our friends and family. Jill was pretty sure she was in this for the long haul, but I still had doubts. Over the years, I went on a couple of dates and she went on a couple of dates but we always came back to each other. Jill finally decided to tell her parents and they had a difficult time at first, but now they are totally supportive and include me in all family activities. It was about two years later that I finally told my mom. I grew up in a very close family where we were always at grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc... and my mom and I had been best friends since the day I was born. However, after I told her about Jill and I, our relationship was damaged for ever- she wouldn't even tell me she loved me. She tried to keep me from seeing my brothers and the rest of my family by not telling me when family functions were going on and being hateful during our conversations. My whole family was horrible! I rarely speak to any of my extended family aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...). No one in my family has really reached out to even try to continue a relationship except for one aunt and cousin on my mom's side. After about five years, things started to get a little better and my mom and I could have a short conversation without me wanting to smack her. I still try to keep in close contact with my brothers because they mean the world to me and I don't want them to think I don't care about seeing them or I don't love them. I have pretty much just given up on my mom but I try to enjoy the good times- though few and far between. Through all of the ups and downs, Jill and I have only become stronger and more committed to one another. Once we were both on the same page in our relationship, we decided that it was time to commit ourselves to one another. On June 12, 2004 we had a commitment ceremony with several friends to make our relationship "official" in our eyes. Of course it is not a legal union, but all we really needed for each other. It was a wonderful and very special celebration that was uniquely ours to cherish forever. Last year in May of 2006 we purchased our first home together and were ready to start our next journey in life.....
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Just to continue...The relationship with my mom and family has continued to dwindle to non-existent with my parents. I completely cut off contact when Braden was a few months old because it was just too much to deal with and was a very unhealthy relationship to take part in. It started going down hill again when I told my mom I was pregnant and she said that it was horrible and she hoped and prayed it would never happen. I told her that I didn;t want or need her negativity in my life while I was pregnant and she gladly stopped talking to me. She said that was the greatest gift she could give to me at that time. (Barf!!! What a poor excuse for a mother!!!) Once Braden was born, they did not come to the hospital, call, send a card, nada! Yet they told their friends they desperately wanted to see him and have a relationship with him. REALLY?? PUT some FREAKING effort into people! Get in the car and drive your happy a$$ over and see him. Still no effort after months, but still spreading lies that Jill and I are keeping them from him because we will not bring him to THEIR house and let them see him. Once again REALLY???? Get off your a$$ and come see him if you really want to. They are pathetic I tell ya! So after finding out about more lies and getting ticked off to no end, I tell them I do not want anyhting to do with them all- no phone calls, no cards/letters, texts, etc... That was the best thing I ever did for myself. I finally had peace in my life and was able to fully concentrate on my little family. Yes, it has been very difficult to come to peace with and I do find myself upset and wishing life could be different. BUT these were the cards I was dealt and I have to put my son and his wellbeing first. My job is to protect him from the pain they have inflicted on my and NEVER let them have teh opportunity to do that to him. I am working on coming to terms with a lifetime with out my one time best friend- my "mom" and ove time, it does get better. I am learning to forgive things from the past, which as you can tell I still have a long way to go, but I am taking it one day at a time. I need all the prayers I can get to keep the anger and hatred at bay and move on with my life.
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